England
The football team very generously fell on their sword last night so that the cricket team could bring home the ashes (last test starts today). Obviously worried that S Jones was injured, D Beckham helpfully led his team to a impossible 1-0 defeat to Northern Ireland (last win against England 1972; yes when I was born). Over the next 5 days, we shall see if this noble sacrifice (and J Wilkinson’s permanent injury voodoo) will be enough to overcome the might Aussies.