From the Orient

I’m away until next Wednesday with work. Maybe I’ll have some internet access, but maybe not. Enjoy yourselves.

Gerard McGovern (inkiboo) has an MP3 of “Cory Doctorow”:http://boingboing.net/ on Radio 4 “Today”, err, today.

How weird to hear the word blog on Radio 4, and how come there was something really boring on Today when I was listening that caused me to put on the new Radiohead (not a)CD instead.

Just when the technical weblog world want to rip it up and start again, the BBC get on board. Adrian Holovaty has news of the BBS News RSS feeds going live { via “Simon Willison”:http://simon.incutio.com/archive/2003/06/24/bbcNewsFeeds ]. Great news. Even better is the bookmark that automatically tells you what the RSS feed is for each site.

Saturday morning, and I get an unexpected lie-in as my daughter (henceforth ever known on this weblog as Kid A) had her swimming cancelled and then overslept. My wife (henceforth known as Pablo) has got up to take my son (henceforth known as the Thief) to his swimming lesson. I lie back in bed, stretching luxuriously when the doorbell goes. Luckily it is before Pablo has left, and she answers the door.

Then I here her coming up the stairs. I close my eyes, pretending to be asleep. “Ouch”, I cry, as a 700-page hardback edition of You-Know-What lands on my midriff. That was a surprise. I mean I’d remembered it was St. Harry Potter Day the world over, but I forgotten that Pablo had ordered the book (way back in February) as a special offer on her BFC book club. I had meant to get it in a couple of weeks time at the local book shop (Friar Street Fantasy, btw) once all the hype had died down.

Pablo has gone to swimming. I really should get up and have breakfast, tidy the kitchen, get Kid A up, get her dressed, check the email, mow the lawn, weed the borders, wash the bike, feed the cats, read some weblogs, write a bit more of Thing, put on some music, have a bath, or take down the gazebo as high winds are due the next day. Or I could just see what the first chapter is like …

It’s later and Pablo has returned with The Thief to find me still in bed, 200 pages into the book. Kid A woke up and has trashed her room, trying on ear rings and clothes. I’ve been given detention for a week, and the book has been confiscated until further notice.

Now it’s Sunday morning. Pablo is out, and I’m in charge of the children. Using them as look outs, I break into Pablo’s locker and steal The Book. Despite facing possible neglect charges over the children, I manage another couple’o'hundred pages before Pablo gets back. Kid A is impressive in her role as lookout “Mummy Mummy” she calls and I stash the book under the chair just in time.

Kid A is no longer in my good books. She told Pablo that Daddy had a dinosaur under his chair, and upon finding the yellow tome, she checked the location of the bookmark and realised what I’d done. I’ve been banned from playing Counterstrike for life!

Sunday night: 9pm, I was allowed to continue reading once the children were asleep, and I’d tidied the living room and loaded the dishwasher and made Pablo a cup of tea and a dozen other remedial chores that seemed to take a lifetime. She’s gone to watch Big Brother or some other boring TV program. I read.

11pm. It’s finished.

Monday morning. The gazebo broke in the wind and rain last night. Two of the metal posts are bend and twisted, and the plastic corner pieces are in bits. It looks like a passing giant accidentally stepped on it.

It was lucky that the book is such an easy read; or did that just make it more addictive? Good, fun book. Don’t take it seriously, don’t believe the hype, but enjoy it. If you like that sort of thing.

Stuart “explained how he searched for sand worms”:http://www.dellah.com/orient/2003/06/16/noncreative.shtml#comment388.

I checked the activity log and low there were the sand worm searches. There was also some really weird searches in there like ‘ecosystem of tulpis’, ‘Entwicklundsland’, ‘judicial functions’ and ‘Monkey pictures’. I’ve taken pictures of some monkeys, but sadly never uploaded them here. I may have to rectify this situation immediately.

But the guy who tried to search for ‘London’s Burning.mp3′ 63 times in 7 minutes must have a deep distrust of search engine results.

“Search London’s Burning.mp3″
> No pages were found containing “London’s Burning.mp3″.

“No, London’s Burning does exist, you lying search engine!”
> No pages were found containing “London’s Burning.mp3″.

“No way, I know you know. Give me the answer”
> No pages were found containing “London’s Burning.mp3″.

“Listen, we can do this the easy way of the hard way”
> No pages were found containing “London’s Burning.mp3″.

“I’m more persistent than Jeremy Paxman and you will tell me where the London’s Burning MP3 is”
> No pages were found containing “London’s Burning.mp3″.

“Please, I’m begging you. I have to listen to London’s Burning or I’ll die.”
> No pages were found containing “London’s Burning.mp3″.

For the record, what probably drew him here is an MP3 sample of “London Calling”:http://www.dellah.com/orient/2002/12/17/punk_rock_baby.shtml from Punk Rock Baby. Close.

Having read Ulysses for Dummies [ via "Karen":http://www.erzsebel.com/rise/risearchives/002927.html ], I now feel confident I can read the real thing.

This will only leave the Gormenghast Trilogy in The Pile that is a massive “I’m so big you dare not start reading me unless you have a spare month” type of book. All the rest are mere 400 pages or less.

Except for all the huge non-fiction books like “The Blue Planet” and all three “History of Britains”. And that biography of Samuel Pepys I was bought for my birthday (the name of which escapes me right this second).