Mild Peril

Or How Many Parents Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?

Let me recount the events in strictly chronological order (times invented because really I was too stressed to know exactly what time it was).

Pre-nightmare hour from hell

12:30 Plumbers finally arrive to move toilet
16:30 Plumbers leave having only taken out toilet and not put in new toilet, promising to return tomorrow (voucher worth 0.00000001p)[1]
16:31 Panic about not having a toilet
16:32 Remember that we have a new downstairs toilet fully working.
18:00 remind children to use downstairs toilet
18:01 Put a potty where the old toilet was
18:45 Wife leaves for work dinner leaving me to put all three children to bed

During nightmare hour from hell

19:00 Gabby crying. Get Jeannie to read her a story
19:10 Give Ryan bedtime story
19:20 Say night night to Ryan and goto Gabby
19:22 Ryan wants his mummy.
19:23 Return to Ryan. Gabby crying again
19:25 Settle Ryan. Ask Jeannie to read to herself until I can give her a story
19:30 Settle Gabby. Put down.
19:32 Gabby crying. Ryan needs the toilet.
19:35 Take Ryan downstairs. Find the bulb has blown and there is glass all over a dark toilet floor. Ryan desperate and not wearing anything on his feet. Gabby crying still
19:36 Find dustpan and brush. Cannot find torch. Gabby crying. Send Ryan to get slippers
19:38 Ryan cannot find slippers. Tell him to put on wellies.
19:39 Find different torch. Sweep up glass.
19:40 Ryan goes to toilet.
19:41 Help Ryan flush, wash hands, take wellies off, get back up stairs.
19:42 Darryl from down the road knocks on door with kids to help me move the old washing machine out so the council can collect it[2]. Gabby still crying.
19:50 Get washing machine out front. Thank Darryl telling him I owe him a beer.
19:51 Gabby has cried herself to sleep. Jeannie is asleep as well. Ryan is in bed but awake
19:52 Try to change bulb in toilet. Not knowing whether it has blown for a reason (it looks now like it just fell out!) turn off lighting circuit. Turn off wrong switch (it is a new circuit board) and turn off in turn, upstairs lights and then downstairs power (resetting clocks).
19:52 and 30s : Ryan comes down because the lights went off and on. This wakes up Gabby
19:55 Settle everyone again and change lightbulb. It works.
20:00 Find out Sky+ box will not turn on

Post Nightmare Hour from Hell

Opened bottle of Hobgoblin and drink. Slump in chair

And the answer to the question about the lightbulb? Clearly more than one.

[1] In actuality, it seems they will return as they left most of their tools behind.
[2] Has to be out by 7:30 am the morning after you call, despite them giving themselves 10 days before they have to collect it.